


Lost and Found

by Elemtee



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Raising Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 16:13:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15561555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elemtee/pseuds/Elemtee
Summary: James and Lily are dead, and Sirius, who is raising Harry, packs up their lives and moves to the other side of the world in an attempt to outrun his ghosts.  Little does he know, the biggest ghost of all is right under his nose





	1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

  _New Years Eve, 1995_

Sirius knew something was up the second he stepped into the drawing room of the mausoleum his family called home.  The room was crammed with what appeared to be every family member, friend and acquaintance of his parents, all of whom were bad news.  There was a distinct chill in the air, and Sirius fought the urge to turn and run to the nearest floo connection. Nothing good could come from a gathering of these people, nothing good at all.  Slowly, on shaking legs, he crossed the room and kissed the fingertips of his mothers outstretched hand, as he knew was expected, before turning to his father and briefly nodding his head in a polite bow.  The chatter in the room died down as the guests turned towards Orion and Walburga.

 

“Family and Friends” Orion began “my wife and I would like to welcome you to our home, and thank you for joining us on doubly joyous occasion, as we celebrate not only the engagement of our oldest son Sirius Orion, the heir of the ancient and most noble house of Black, to Miss Lucinda Mulciber, but also his initiation into the ranks of the dark lord, on this night when he is to receive the highest honor of his mark.  We invite you to raise your glasses and toast the hap-“

 

“What in the name of Merlin are you fucking talking about” Orion’s speech was cut off my Sirius’ outburst.

 

Sirius barely had time to register the shocked gasps of the assembled guests before he was struck hard across the face by his mothers hand, the large, incredibly ugly Black family ring leaving a smarting gouge across his cheek.  Before he had a chance to react he felt 2 strong hands grip his upper arms and drag him bodily from the room and across the hallway into the library where he was unceremoniously dropped into a straight backed chair. He glanced around the room, his mind trying to come up with a plan, and saw his mother usher Regulus into the room before shutting the door and locking it, dropping the large, ornate key into the pocket of his fathers jacket.

 

“This ends now Sirius.  You will stop fighting us.  You will do as we require. You will end this ridiculous unnaturalness you insist on persisting with, and you will obey me, or so help me boy, you will regret it until your dying day”

 

**************

_January 4th, 1996_

 

Remus Lupin woke with a start.  His mother was standing over him, shaking his shoulders and yelling at him to get up and get dressed NOW, before running from the room.  He rubbed his eyes, trying to figure out what the bloody hell was going on, as he gingerly tossed his blankets back and set his feet on the cold floor.  Before he could push himself into a standing position, his mother came running back into his room, dragging 2 suitcases behind her. Thoroughly bewildered, he opened his mouth to ask what was going on, but was cut off before he could get a word out.

 

“There’s no time, just trust me, and pack your things into these 2 suitcases.  Be quick Cariad, we are leaving in less than 15 minutes. When you’re done, take your bags to the car, and quickly load up the things stacked next to the garage door.  Now hurry” and with that, Hope again ran from the room.

Bewildered, Remus began doing as his mother said, opening drawers and throwing armfuls of clothes into the open suitcases that were perched on his bed, before moving swiftly to his wardrobe and emptying its contents.  He crossed the floor quickly to his bookshelf, grabbing his backpack off the floor next to his desk and began stuffing books, photos, mementos and a few special trinkets into it haphazardly. He could feel waves of panic bubbling up from his stomach, and fought to keep them down.  Hitching his backpack onto his shoulder, he quickly zipped the suitcases closed and set them onto the floor, dragging them quickly towards the garage. He flung open the garage door, opened the boot of the car and threw the bags in, before returning to the hall and grabbing the bags and boxes his mother had piled up, finishing just as Hope came running towards him, somehow dragging 3 suitcases, 2 duffel bags and a pile of blankets behind her, with the cat under her arm.  Remus rushed to relieve her of part of her load, shoving them roughly into the remaining space in the car before slamming the boot closed.

Hope was already sitting in the drivers seat of the car, engine running, by the time Remus sat himself into the passenger seat.  He barely had his seatbelt buckled before Tuesday the cat was thrust into his arms. The garage door was raised, and the car was reversing down the drive, and Remus watched the garage door closing as Hope put the car into gear and drove down their quiet street, fingers clenched tightly on the steering wheel, knuckles white, with a look of frowning concentration on her face.

 

“Mum” Remus started, somewhat cautiously “What the hell is going on?  Why are we driving through town with our belongings stuffed into every spare inch of this car at 1am?”

 

Hope sighed, and wasted a few more moments navigating through the streets that would lead them to the highway “I don’t entirely know.  Your father and I were in bed when one of those shiny patrony things came flying through the window. I’m not sure what it said, but your father jumped out of bed and apparated out of the house.  A few minutes later he was back, yelling that we had to get out, and get out now, that the ministry was planning a raid just before dawn, something about you being taken in for questioning, and how it was all a set up.  Told me to take you and get to the safe location and he would meet us there in 90 minutes.  And so thats what we are doing”


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

 

_October 31st, 2001_

 

Something was wrong.  Well, maybe not wrong exactly, but something definitely wasn’t right either.  The trouble was, Sirius had no idea what it actually was that was making him feel this way.  He’d felt ‘off’ all day, and no amount of distraction could shake the feeling. To hell with it, he decided eventually, even though Dumbledore would surely have his ass for breaking protocol, he’d go hang with Wormy for an hour, have a couple of drinks, maybe watch some mind numbing TV with his friend.  Even facing the wrath of Dumbledore was better than sitting here stewing alone.

 

15 minutes later, Sirius was landing Elvendork, his flying motorcycle in the backyard of Peter’s current safe house.  The darkness of the windows and the overall quietness of the place started the nagging _something is really wrong_ thoughts that had been in the back of his mind all day to scream at him loudly, and he ran to the back door, wand raised, not even taking the moment to set the bike on to the kick stand, instead letting it crash to the ground.  He blasted the door open with an alohomora and ran inside, shouting Peter’s name as he ran through the rooms looking for his friend. His quick search of the ground floor turned up nothing, and he ran for the stairs. The top floor of the house was as deserted as the bottom.  There was no sign of a struggle, in fact, the only sign of anything being wrong at all was a picture that Sirius knew was of the Marauders, taken at a far happier time in their lives, turned face down on the dresser. The alarm bells in his head were now screeching, their volume deafening, and he raced back through the house to the yard, wrenched his bike from the ground, jumped on and was taking to the sky in the blink of an eye.  He had to check on Prongs and Lily. Something was definitely, undeniably wrong.

 

The ride to Godric’s Hollow had never felt longer.  Sirius leaned low over his handlebars, urging the bike to go faster.  The trip was normally 30 minutes, but Sirius was there in 20. He screamed out loud as he passed the barrier of the fidelius charm and saw the house in ruins.  Leaping from the bike before it even hit the ground he ran as fast as his legs would carry him. The front door had been blasted open and was laying in pieces in the entry way.  He glanced left into the sitting room and his knees buckled. James was lying there, glasses askew, motionless. Sirius screamed his name over and over again as he ran to kneel beside his brother.  ‘Rennervate, Rennervate, REENERVATE’ he sobbed as he pointed his wand at James’s lifeless face. “Wake up Jamie, please wake up, I need you need you to wake up, I, I need you” Sirius sat clutching James’ body for several minutes before remembering Lily and Harry.  With a gentle kiss to his forehead and a muttered ‘I love you my brother’ he gently lowered James to the ground and covered him with a red and gold gryffindor blanket Euphemia had knitted him way back in first year that he found on the couch.

 

He ran up the stairs, wand held aloft and cried out once more when he spotted Lily laying across the floor of Harry’s nursery.  He flung himself to his knees at her side, and as he had done with James, tried in vain to revive her, all the while knowing deep down he was too late.  After a few moments, as he had done with James, he kissed her, told her he loved her and covered her with a blanket he conjured. He then stood and began looking for Harry, finding him huddled in his cot, not moving.  Fearing the worst, Sirius gently reached in to the cot to pick up his godson, thinking he would lay his tiny body in his mother's arms when Harry suddenly let out a cry, causing Sirius to swear loudly and almost drop the toddler.  Clutching his crying godson to his chest, Sirius sunk to the floor and began to sob loudly.

 

He didn’t know how long he had been sitting holding a now sleeping Harry when he suddenly registered voices making their way through the downstairs of the house.  He stood and crossed the hallway to James’s and Lily’s room and carefully laid Harry in a blanket inside the wardrobe, hiding him from view. He raised his wand once more and crept down the stairs once more.  He stopped suddenly when he realised the voices belonged to Minerva McGonagall and Hagrid. The order was here, and Sirius suddenly felt like he might be able to start breathing again.

 

“Expelliarmus! Incarcerous!” yelled a third voice he had not noticed previously, but knew belonged to Mad Eye Moody.  Sirius fell to the floor as rope bindings wrapped around his body, his wand flying from his hand and landing with a soft thunk at Mad Eye’s feet.

 

“Oh Sirius, how could you” Minerva asked in a broken voice he had never heard before “James was like your brother, how could you betray them like this?  I have never been more disa-”

 

“IT WASN’T ME” Sirius yelled, cutting across Minerva “IT WAS PETER.  HE WAS THE SECRET KEEPER! I would never betray James or Lily or Harry.  You know that Professor. You know how much they mean to me. How much they meant to me” he was sobbing again, unable to stop the tears even if he wanted to.

 

“Do not lie to us Boy” Moody yelled back “We know you were the secret keeper.  Dumbledore told us. Said he offered to be secret keeper himself, but James wouldn’t have anyone but you”

 

Sirius tried desperately, and rather unsuccessfully, to compose himself before answering Moody.  “It’s true, I was going to be the secret keeper, but we changed it at the last minute. Someone who was close to us was passing information on, and we thought they would come after me, so I convinced them to change it to someone no one would ever expect.  I convinced him to change to Peter. Peter was the secret keeper for this house. I was secret keeper for Peter, and James was secret keeper for my place”

 

At this, Minerva sank to the couch her hand covering her mouth in surprise.  “Peter was secret keeper? Are you tell me Peter Pettigrew was the spy? That Peter betrayed you all?

 

Sirius looked at his former professor and held her eyes and he spoke again.  “You need to believe me professor, but yes. Peter was the spy. Is the spy.  Give me veritaserum if you don’t believe me. Please believe me”

Everyone was quiet for a moment, until suddenly Minerva stood up, crossed the room, knelt by Sirius’ bound body and using her wand, untied him.  “I believe you”

 

Sirius rose to his feet and embraced the older lady.  “Thank you” he whispered into her ear before letting her go.

 

“Minerva might believe you, but I’m not convinced.  I’m going to go and assemble the Aurors to begin the hunt for Pettigrew.  Do not leave Minerva’s sight, do you understand boy? I still want to question you”.  Sirius nodded his agreement, and Mad Eye apparated with a pop.

 

The mood in the cottage was sombre in Mad Eye’s wake.  Sirius went upstairs and retrieved Harry from his hiding place in the wardrobe and laid him in a cot that Minerva had transfigured from a cardboard box found in the kitchen.  With Hagrid’s help, Lily was carried downstairs and laid out on the sitting room floor next to James. Sirius carefully replaced James’ glasses, and smoothed out Lily’s fiery hair.  He placed a picture of the 4 of them in James’ hand, and one of Harry into Lily’s before kissing them each one more time and recovering their bodies with Euphemia’s Gryffindor blanket.  He then picked Harry’s sleeping form up once more and collapsed wearily onto the couch, the boy snuggled into his chest, needing to feel Harry’s warmth against him, knowing it was all that was stopping him from going after that traitorous rat himself, knowing it was the only thing that would keep him grounded for the rest of his days.

 

Barely an hour had passed before Moody apparated into the cottage once more, bringing with him the news that they had managed to capture Peter in muggle London and were holding him for questioning.  Sirius wasn’t in the clear yet, Moody was sure to remind him, and he was going to need to take him in for questioning too. When Sirius refused to hand over Harry to Minerva,   
Moody reluctantly agreed to allow the boy to be brought along to the ministry.  Sirius quickly collected a few of Harry’s things, and allowed Moody to apparate them both to the Auror’s entrance of the ministry.

 

**************

It was after 6pm the next night when Sirius was cleared of any involvement in the deaths of Lily and James, and was released from ministry custody.  Using a combination of veritaserum and legilimency, Peter had been found guilty of accessory to murder, accessory to attempted murder, treason, and being a death eater as well as a number of other charges.  He had confirmed Sirius had no involvement with the death eaters, and he had betrayed James and Lily at the request of Lord Voldemort himself, and had been transported to Azkaban to await trial.

 

There had been a few tense hours when Dumbledore had arrived at the ministry and attempted to remove Harry from Sirius, wanting to place the boy with Lily’s sister Petunia to ‘keep him safe’.  Sirius had flat out refused to allowed that jumped up harpy anywhere near his godson, and at the advice of Minerva McGonagall had filed for an emergency custody hearing. Given the unusualness of the situation, the head of the department of Magical law enforcement, Amelia Bones, had agree to hear the case first thing the following morning.

Exhausted from the events of the previous 24 hours, Sirius gratefully accepted Minerva’s offer for him and Harry to spend the night at her small cottage outside of Hogsmeade.  Stepping out of the public floo connection and in to the living room, Sirius didn’t even pause to eat before settling his previously fed and changed Godson into the cot Minerva had set up, before collapsing on to the bed and falling into a deep, exhausted sleep himself.


	3. Chapter 3

_July 31st, 2002_

 

Sirius tossed and turned for what felt like hours before giving up entirely on the idea of sleep at around 4am.  He crept quietly from the room, careful not to wake his godson who was sleeping soundly in his cot next to the bed, and went into the kitchen to flick the kettle on, desperately needing the caffeine hit that could only come from strong coffee.  As he stood by the bench waiting for the water to boil he scrubbed his hand over his face and sighed. He was completely exhausted – had been since the start of November when he had been awarded custody of Harry and had stopped sleeping. His ridiculous sleep patterns, or rather lack thereof, couldn’t even be blamed on the boy, who most nights was asleep by 8pm and slept through until breakfast.  It was the fact that everytime he closed his eyes he was haunted by the ghosts of his past – James, Lily, the rat bastard Peter, his parents, Reg. He’d even begun dreaming about Moony again, which hadn’t really happened since the end of 7th year.  A year ago he would have attempted to shut them all up with a bottle of fire whiskey or 2, but he didn’t think that would really fly now that he was parenting a small child.

3 cups of coffee and a mind numbing TV movie later the sun was up and so was Harry.  Sirius scooped him out of the cot and smothered him in kisses whilst singing a very off key and excessively loud rendition of Happy Birthday.  After a quick breakfast, Sirius sat on the floor with Harry in his lap as they opened his birthday presents – a miniature red and gold Gryffindor quiddich jumper, a stack of books, blocks, a ball and, to Harry’s absolute delight, the little muggle tricycle he’d developed an obsession with.

 

Due to a lack of better options, they spent the day much every other day - a walk to the park mid morning, stopping to chat with neighbours every so often, home for lunch and a nap, and playing in the backyard in the afternoon.  Dinner - and tonight, birthday cake - was followed by bathtime, half a dozen stories, during which Harry would inevitably fall asleep curled into Sirius’ side. Sirius would then put Harry to bed, clean the flat _without magic_ , do some laundry, and then watch whatever trash was on TV until he would go to bed out of boredom, hoping he would at least catch a few hours of sleep before the ghosts came back and groundhog day would start all over again.

 

Sirius adored Harry, and while he would never have chosen their current situation, he already couldn’t imagine his life without his godson by his side, but dear Merlin he was bored of the mundane.  It had been over a year since he had even been on a date, let alone found himself naked in some gorgeous mans bed, he had no family as a result of _that night_ , and courtesy of the war there were no friends he could call on either.  The loneliness was quickly becoming unbearable.

 

**************

 

Summer faded into spring, and before he knew it, Sirius was staring down the barrel of the first anniversary of James and Lily’s death, and it felt like the ghosts were taking over his entire life.  He hadn’t slept for more than 3 hours in weeks, and his eye bags had grown their own eye bags. The flat had reached level of cleanliness that not even the Hogwarts house elves could manage due to his newly developed stress cleaning habits, and he was eating baked goods around the clock due to the matching boredom baking habit.  He’d even toyed with the idea of teaching 2 year old Harry some beginner magic just for something to do.

 

**************

 

When Sirius picked up the mail from the village post office on the last Wednesday in October, the last thing he expected to find was a letter from his cousin Andromeda.  Noone had seen or heard from her since she had been formally disowned from the house of Black 12 years earlier, when she had dared defy her parents and elope with someone who was not only muggle born, but also distinctly not rich, having grown up on a Manchester council estate with a single mother and 3 sisters.  

 

Envelope in hand, he continued walking towards the park, intending to let Harry run off some steam like normal.  Once Harry was happily digging in the sand with a stray stick he had picked up, Sirius tore the envelope open, noticed that the letter was dated almost 3 months prior, and began reading.

 

6th August

 

Dearest Sirius,

 

I know it has been a long time since you have heard from me, and this letter is likely to come as a shock, but I have just heard about some of the things that have been happening in the last year or so, and felt compelled to reach out to you dearest cousin.  

 

Firstly, and I know you probably don’t want, or need, to hear it, but I learnt of the deaths of your parents, and wanted to offer my condolences.  Oh, who am I kidding, neither of us are sad about that fact at all, are we?

 

I was, however, dreadfully upset to learn about Regulus.  I had always hoped he would follow in your footsteps (and mine, I guess), and leave the family behind.  There was so much good in him that was never allowed to flourish in that oppressive house, and while I know he was mixed up in the death eaters, you and I both know it would not have been of his own choosing.  

 

Now, let me get to the point of my letter.  I heard about James and his wife, and how Peter (Peter, would never have expected that one, but I’m sure you didn’t expect it either) betrayed you all.  I also learnt that you are now the legal guardian of James’ son - Harry, I believe his name to be - and wanted to tell you how proud I am of you for stepping up for him.  I know in my heart that you are doing, and will continue to do a wonderful job of raising him.

 

I understand you probably have a life and wonderful support network set up where ever it is you are living (hopefully this letter will find you, I don’t have a huge amount of faith in muggle post, but didn’t think it wise to potentially draw attention to your location if you are trying to keep a low profile in our world) but I wanted to run an idea past you.  Ted and I, and our daughter Nym, have recently purchased a farm outside of Sydney, Australia. There is a lot of space for a growing child to play, and given we have just built ourselves a new house on the property, the original farm house is vacant and all yours if you want it - even if it is just for a little while.

 

After all this time I know you are probably wondering why now, or whats the catch - don’t deny it, we are Black’s after all, it is how we were bought up - and the answer is simple.  We ARE Blacks, we are family, and even if we come from arguably the most unbalanced family in wizarding Europe, you and I are not like the rest of them, and need to stick together. I always regret not being able to be there for you over the last 12 years, and would love nothing better than to start making that up to you.

 

Please think about it before rejecting my offer outright.  If you want to talk about it more before making a decision please write back, or even better, call me on 61 2 44XX XXXX and we can talk about it properly.

 

I love you, I’m proud of you and miss you always

 

Love

Andi xx

  
Sirius sat in shock, not sure what to think, going back and forth over the sudden, very unexpected offer he had in front of him.  It was lovely of Andi to make the offer, that much was certain, but Australia was so far away, he couldn’t possibly pack Harry up and move to the other side of the world.  Or could he? Maybe a little, or rather a lot of distance would help silence the ghosts. They could start fresh. Not have to hide in a one bedroom flat dingy muggle neighbourhood without using magic any more.  Harry could have space to run, maybe they could get a dog. Sitting there Sirius realised that _almost_ all of his best decisions had been made on the spur of the moment, so why couldn’t this one.  They were doing it. They were going to move to Australia. Calling Harry back to him, he strapped the protesting child back into his stroller and hurried home to make a very long distance phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I just wanted to say thank you for taking a chance on this story, and apologise in advance if it takes a little while to get the next few chapters up. Between illness, work, kids life in general free time is a precious commodity. 
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you.


	4. Chapter 4

**December 2002**

 

When Sirius stepped off the plane in Sydney, with a sleeping Harry strapped to his back and a number of bags clutched in his hands into the arms of his cousin he almost wept with relief.  He would have preferred a long distance port key, but unfortunately, with Harry being under 5 it hadn’t been an option, so the flying muggle tin can had been his only option, and he sincerely hoped he’d never need to to travel in one again.  Andi held him tight for several long minutes before pulling back to look up at him, a fond smile on her face.

 

“Welcome to Australia love, how was the flight” she said by way of greeting

 

“Absolute hell.  Harry screamed bloody murder for the first hour, he hasn’t slept more than 30 minutes at a time, he somehow managed to ruin every single piece of clothing I’d packed for both before we even made it halfway and I had to lock myself in the bathroom to using washing and drying charms so we didn’t have to finish the journey in our birthday suits, I’m exhausted and the food was terrible.  I’ve never been happier to not be flying before in my life”

 

**************

 

**May 2003**

 

“What the _fuck_ is wrong with you” Sirius demanded as a bucket of icy cold water was poured over his head.

 

“We need to talk.  Get up, get dry and meet me in the kitchen in 5 minutes.  And I’m warning you, if you’re not there, I will be back, and it won’t be water I dump over your sorry ass” Andromeda threw back, before turning on her heel and storming from Sirius’s room.

 

Grumbling, Sirius did as he was told, having had plenty of past experience dealing with a pissed off Black, and not really wanting to deal with it ever again if he didn’t have to.  Walking in to the kitchen, he had barely managed to pull out a chair before Andi rounded on him

 

“You are falling apart love, and it needs to stop, if not for yourself, then for Harry.  He needs you to stop this self destructive path you are on” Sirius opened his mouth, wanting to tell his interfering cousin that he wasn’t on a bloody self destructive path _thank you very much_ and was doing just fine, but Andi railroaded on “I know you’ve been through a lot.  So much more than anyone should ever have to go through in 10 lifetimes, and I am so, so proud of you for what you’ve managed to achieve in spite of our upbringing.  When you first got here, I could see you were struggling, hence the reason why I helped out with Harry whenever I could, but love, it’s been 3 months, and you are getting worse.  Don’t think I haven’t seen how much whiskey you’ve been getting through. Harry has spent more time with us than you over the last 2 months”

 

Sirius suddenly felt cold all over, Andromeda’s words sinking in, realising all at once how badly he had screwed things up.  “Where is he” he asked in a low, choked voice.

 

“He’s gone with Ted to pick Nym up from school, but he isn’t coming back here until we sort some shit out.  I know you love him, but that little boy deserves so much more than you’ve been giving him lately”

 

Sirius burst into loud, uncontrollable sobs at that.  Harry did deserve better. He deserved the whole damn world, and Sirius couldn’t believe just how badly he had screwed things up.  It took several minutes for him to get his tears under control enough to talk again.

 

“I tried so hard Andi.  I really did. I spent more than a year holding it together for Harry, and I just couldn’t keep pretending I was ok. And the ghosts wouldn’t shut up, and they were following me and I couldn’t take it anymore.  Then you wrote to me and I made the decision to come here and I thought the distance would make things better, and deep down I thought that maybe I wouldn’t have to keep being strong all the time, and that you could help me, but I think maybe I took it too far.  I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry”

 

Andi stood up and enveloped her cousin in a hug, rubbing soothing circles on his back and murmuring comforting words while he tried to compose himself again.  “It’s ok love, I understand, but it not too late and we can set things right again”

 

**30th January, 2004**

 

“Siri, I’m going to be late!  Hurry up!” Nymphadora whined

 

“Hold your horses love, we aren’t late at all” Sirius replied, reaching out to ruffle her hair, and laughing as she attempted to swat his hand away.

 

“But Mum said we had to be here 15 minutes early so we can find out who my teacher is and you can explain all about my medicine and stuff before class starts”

 

Sirius pushed open the door to the school office, and looked at his watch, and then back at Nym with a pointed look “Oh, look at that, 16 minutes before the bell, I do believe we are right on time Miss Nymphadora”

Nym glared at him, but didn’t get a chance to tell him off for the use of her full name before the school Principal, who had been waiting for them in the foyer stepped forward, hand extended to Sirius in greeting.  

 

“Mr Black?  I am Mrs Franklin, the principal.  Thank you for coming in early. As I explained to Mrs Tonks on the phone yesterday, we’ve had a rather unexpected last minute staff change, and haven’t had the chance to update everyone properly on managing Nymphadora’s condition, so I do appreciate you agreeing to this quick lesson this morning.  Now, if you are ready, lets go”

 

A couple of minutes later Mrs Franklin knocked on the door of a classroom and ushered Sirius and Nym inside and began to make the introductions.  Sirius was looking down at Harry when he heard a voice that shocked him to his core. Looking up, he saw a face he once knew incredibly well. “Moony?” he said in a voice barely above a whisper “It can’t be, you, you’re, you’re dead” and then promptly fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the shortness my lovelies. This chapter gave me such an ass kicking, and I spent waaaaaay to many hours staring at a blank document. 
> 
> I've also been back and edited dates into previous chapters. When I started, I was unsure if it was going to be a canon era story or if I would bring it forward 20-30 years. I eventually settled on bringing things up 20 years, mainly because I don't have the time to properly research the 70's / 80's and didn't want to hold things up trying to fact find tiny details.


	5. Chapter 5

When Sirius eventually came to on the floor of a familiarly unfamiliar room and saw the face of his supposedly dead ex boyfriend he swore loudly, closed his eyes once more and shook his head vigorously as if attempting to dislodge something.  When he opened his eyes a second time and once again found himself looking into the face he knew better than almost any other face on the planet he decided it was time to accept the fact that Remus was definitely not dead. 

 

“Sirius, are you ok?” 

 

“Remus, what’s going on?  How are you not dead? Why are you here?” 

 

“It’s a long story.  And while we are asking questions that I’m sure have long stories attached, why are you in Australia, and why do you have a small child who looks exactly like James with you.  Or a 10 year old girl for that matter?” 

 

At the mention of James and Harry Sirius felt tears welling up in his eyes and blinked rapidly several times to try and hold them back. “It’s a long story” he finally managed, hoping his voice wasn’t quivering.

 

“Fair enough.  Listen, we only have a minute before Anne will be back, she’s your kids to the office to wait.  Can you meet me after school? So we can talk?” Remus asked, a hint of pleading noticeable in his voice

 

“I’ll have both the kids, and Andi is away, so after school isn’t great for me” Remus tried to bite down the sudden unexpected spike of jealousy that rippled through him at the mention of Andi’s name, but before he could ask who Andi was Sirius continued “Oh god, I hope I don’t regret this, but maybe you could come to mine tonight, after 8?  The kids will be in bed by then, and we can talk”

 

Remus let out a breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding and tried to make himself sound casual as he agreed to Sirius’s plan.  The bell rang in the background, and Remus remembered he had 28 students to attend to, and hastily scrawled his mobile number on a piece of paper from his desk and thrust it into Sirius’s hand “I have to run, but call or text me with an address, and I will see you at 8.  Can you find your way back to the office?” 

 

“Yes, I can find my way, and yes, I’ll text you my address” Sirius confirmed with a smile tugging at his lips as he pushed himself into a standing position and Remus turned on his heel and started to hurry from the classroom.

 

**************

 

For the first time since he began teaching Remus wanted to pack up and walk out of his classroom without a backwards glance.  He was simply too distracted to properly focus on getting to know his students and his lesson plans, and had to bite his tongue hard multiple times during the day to stop himself questioning Nymphadora on everything from how she knew Sirius to who Andi was and why he was currently in Australia with a baby James.  He glanced at the clock for the 15th time and nearly wept when he saw it was 2:03, and only 4 minutes since he had last checked the time. ‘An hour and 27 minutes. You can do this Lupin. Focus’ he mentally berated himself.

 

When the bell finally rang to dismiss the students - 14 time checks later - Remus raced around to pack up his belongings, and hurried to the front office, stopping at the door of the principals office and performed a little surreptitious charm to make Anne forget about their scheduled ’first day debrief’ meeting.    By 3:48 he was behind the wheel of his car and pulling out of the staff carpark headed towards home.

 

**************

 

By the time Remus knocked on the front door at 8:07, Sirius had almost paced a hole into the kitchen floor.  Since getting home from the school that morning he’d scrubbed the house to hospital grade cleanliness, showered - four times - because he kept nervous sweating his way through his clothes.  He’d fed and bathed Harry and put him into bed, whilst supervising Nym through the same, tended to the dogs and cleaned the kennels to the same hospital grade cleanliness and then for lack of other options, recleaned the already spotless kitchen.  As Sirius reached to pull the door open he thought he might actually vomit, and swallowed hard several times to force it back down. He’d already fainted at Remus’ feet today, adding vomit to the mix would be downright embarrassing. 

 

“Hey” he said, hating how breathy he knew he sounded “It’s good to see you”

 

“It’s good to see you too Pads” Remus replied, a tentative smile blossoming on his face.  Sirius smiled back at Remus, pleased to hear his old nickname fall so casually into conversation for the first time in more than 2 years.  He quickly, and he hoped, discreetly, wiped at the tears that had formed in the corners of his eyes, and gestured Remus into one of the chairs set up on the verandah.  They sat in silence for several moments, before Remus spoke.

 

“Sirius, I just want to say I’m really sorry.  And that of everything and everyone I had to give up over the last 8 years, you are the one I regret the most.  I’ve missed you. So much”

 

“If you missed me so much, why did you leave me?” Sirius asked eventually, unable to keep the hint of bitterness out of his voice.

 

“Like I said this morning, it’s a long story”

 

“We’ve got time.  It’s why I asked you here after all”

 

Remus sat silent for a few minutes, attempting to gather his thoughts before starting his story.  “So, as you know, Mum, Dad and I ‘died’ on January 4th, 1996. Only Mum and I didn’t actually die.  Dad did, but I’ll get to that. Anyway, I’m not sure if you remember, but that month, the full was on January 2nd.  I spent the night, as always when I was at home, locked in that old cottage Dad found in the woods behind the house.  I was worried about how Moony would react without Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs around, because I hadn’t had a full since you had become Animagi, so after Dad had reinforced the wards and charms and gone back home I conjured heavy metal shackles and chained myself to the wall”  

 

“I was in bed in the early hours of the 4th, when Mum came screaming into my room, demanding I pack, and 15 minutes later we were in the car with our possessions crammed into every spare inch flying down the highway to a special safe house Dad had set up just in case when I was first attacked.  One of his colleagues at the ministry was working the night shift that night, and overheard a conversation between the minister, Gregor McNair and” Remus paused, slightly worried at how the next name would be taken “Cygnus Black. Cygnus apparently handed the minister a sack of what we assumed was gold, and then confirmed that yes, there would be a raid before dawn, and ‘that wolf, Lupin’ would be brought in for questioning, and yes, with the evidence they had arranged, the minister was certain he could ensure a conviction and execution”

 

Sirius swore a whole string of curse words that would have had McGonagall handing him detention for a month if he had used them in his school days, but otherwise stayed quiet, intent on letting Remus finish his tale

 

“So Dads colleague, Hestia, snuck off and sent Dad a patronus.  Dad apparated to meet with Hestia, and within 10 minutes was back barking orders at Mum to get me and get out, which we did.  Around an hour and a half later Dad and Hestia apparated into the safe house and started filling us in, and Dad explained the plan they had come up with - we were going to be taking a non authorised portkey and leaving the country.   We quickly shrunk all our belongings, and were crowded around the portkey waiting for the departure time when all hell broke loose. The werewolf disposal committee had somehow traced us, and several of them had busted through the protective spells and apparated straight into the kitchen we were standing in.  Dad whipped out his wand and started throwing everything he had at them whilst yelling at me to take care of Mum, and he would catch up with us as soon as he could. Mum was sobbing and screaming that we couldn’t leave without Dad, but I grabbed the portkey right as it started to glow, and the next thing I knew we were laying sprawled in a damp field in Northern Ireland”

 

Remus paused his story again just long enough to wipe the tears that had begun streaming down his face and taking a large swallow of the water Sirius had conjured for him.  

 

“It was 3 days before we heard from Hestia that Dad had been killed in the wand fight.  She had been taking in for questioning, but somehow managed to get away with only a reprimand and a 3 week suspension from duty, and as soon as she was able started trying to track us down.  By the time she found us in a I’d apparated us from Ireland to Holland, then into Germany and finally Greece, where she tracked us down in a run down Athens hotel. She told us about Dad, and then as I was still underage she insisted she would be joining us until we found somewhere safe to set ourselves up.  We travelled through Turkey, Dubai, Nepal, Thailand, China and Indonesia before arriving in Perth, where she made contact with someone she knew in the Australian ministry who agreed to help us out as wizarding asylum seekers”

 

“Why were they after you?” Sirius asked as Remus drew to a close, although he had a sneaking suspicion he knew the reason.

 

“We never found out for sure, other than Black and McNair, and by extension, the death eaters wanted me out of the picture”

 

Sirius swallowed. “I have so many questions, but first, I think I know why they were after you.  I think I owe you my story”

 

Remus looked up in shock, a sudden overwhelming urge to run, a tiny voice in the back of his head reminding him Sirius was a Black, and maybe that was how he knew things.

 

“I think they were after you because of me.  The very last thing my  _ mother _ ever said to me in person was that I would regret my decisions until my dying day” Sirius said before bursting into uncontrollable tears

 

Working purely on instinct Remus reached across and took Sirius’s hand, squeezing his fingers gently while he waited for Sirius’s sobs to subside.  “What happened Pads?”

 

Still crying, Sirius began telling Remus his story.  About the events of that disastrous New Years Eve party.  About the beatings and abuse he had been subjected to over the next 3 days, before somehow, miraculously, managing to escape to James’ place through a floo connection that had carelessly been left open in the parlour where he had been left bleeding and almost unconscious whilst his parents had gone down to dinner.  He told Remus about how he had fallen through the floo onto the Potters kitchen floor and immediately fallen down, and had remained in a state of unconsciousness for almost a week, and how he didn’t know it at the time, but James had spent days trying to contact Remus to let him know everything. How he had been disowned by his family, and immediately taken in by Fleamont and Euphemia.  How he had finally recover from his injuries only to have Euphemia gently break the news of the death of Remus and his parents to him, news which sent him spiralling into a depression that had lasted months. 

 

"I'm so sorry Remus.  So, so sorry.  It is all my fault they came after you, and that your Dad died, and that you have had to spend 8 years pretending to be dead.  I know you probably hate me now, and if you need me to I will somehow get Andi to change Nym to another school so you never have to see my face again.  I'm sorry" Sirius sobbed as he finished up his story.

 

"You have nothing to be sorry for Pads, its not your fault, and it will never be your fault.  I could never blame you for what happened.  I'll admit, at first I was upset, thinking that maybe you were involved somehow, but I realised pretty quickly that you'd never do that to me, so if anyone needs to apologise, its me, for doubting you and for leaving you.  I loved you so much, and loosing you nearly killed me"

They sat in near silence, hands clutched between them for nearly half an hour once Sirius had stopped talking, both of the having so much to say, neither of them knowing just how to do it, but both hoping they would have all the time in the world to make things right between them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't proofed this at all, so if there are any errors I've missed, please let me know. Otherwise, enjoy. Things will start to wrap up soon, maybe 2 or 3 chapters left, I'm not entirely sure.
> 
> As always, thanks for sticking with me on this. Love to you all


End file.
